For a large part of my life I have been indecisive. I struggled making a decision and acting on what I decided. Usually afraid of making the “wrong” decision, I would freeze in inaction. Too caught up in the “what if” of choosing the wrong thing, that I would stay in limbo.
I used to describe myself as easy going, and one to go with the flow, so I’d invite someone else to make the decision. There were also times I’d get put on the spot and asked to make a decision. I would be terrified of making the wrong choice and it not agreeing with what the other person wanted.
Carrying this on throughout my adult life has not served me. All along I’ve thought it was a good “quality” to have. I mean, who doesn’t want to be an easy going individual? It wasn’t until not too long ago, I started to notice the issues it was causing in my life.
As a mother to my daughter, I want to be a strong, confident parent, whom she can look to for guidance. And if I want to fit those characteristics, indecisiveness is not part of the program. I needed to look inside myself and how I was showing up.
Becoming a mother has been the biggest drive in inspiring me to question it all. I am no longer willing to go with the flow of how I did things in the past. I have a whole other person looking at me for guidance, and I want to show her what is possible.
I am now trying something else on. I look at my life and decide on purpose what I’d like it to look like. The choices I am making now are backed up based on what I decide. No more of “what will this choice look like to someone else?” Or “should I do this thing, even though all the moms I know are not?” Now I ask myself the questions and give myself the answers! We all have them within us, it’s a proven scientific fact 😉 By allowing ourselves to be ourselves, we are able to reveal who we are truly meant to be.( was that confusing enough for ya?)
You can have the most extraordinary life. You just have to decide what you want, on purpose.