I used to love getting ready. Indulging for hours on my makeup and hair was so much fun. Looking done up was a priority for me, and helped elevate my mood for the day. Of course, there were days I didn’t give myself enough time to get the look I was going for, but nonetheless, I’d do something.
Fast forward to the birth of my daughter. I now had a bit of a hurdle to find the time for myself. At the beginning I had my husband at home with us for an extra set of hands. My daughter was never good at napping, so my husband would entertain her while mommy did her thing. As time passed she became more active and was not able to simply stay in place while I cooed and talked to her. With her papa back to work, I no longer had him to rely on while I got ready. So like many moms do, I decided I was not going to get ready anymore.
This simple action led me to make excuses for myself. “I’m a stay at home mom, why do I need to get ready anyway.” “It’s a waste of time, I’ll dedicate more time to my daughter this way.” After thinking these thoughts and believing them, on days that I was getting ready, I’d feel some guilt behind it.
This resulted with me not feeling like myself. And honestly felt pretty crappy. The way I look and present myself matters to me. And I had put it on the back burner. How many of you can relate? Do you put others’ needs ahead of yours? This small action started affecting my mood on my entire day.
I now understand it wasn’t the physical act of getting ready and looking a certain way that created my feelings. It was my way of thinking of it. But my way of thinking of it was true for me. I liked looking like I put effort in my look. And what was so wrong with wanting to look a certain way?
With this small decision I was affecting how I was showing up for myself, and ultimately my daughter. Now, don’t get me wrong, my child was well taken care of. But I can’t say the same for myself. This chipped away at my self worth, little by little. It was as if there was a small voice saying, “Your needs don’t matter as much as everyone else’s. You have other priorities besides yourself that are more important.”
Now you can see how this was getting to me, ya’ll! I finally made the decision that I would put my need to get ready first. Momma mattered, and I needed to show myself that love. I worked on some of my limiting thoughts and decided what was best for me. I realized no one was coming to my rescue and putting my needs first, I needed to be that person for myself.
So here we are. It’s been a good while that I’ve been at this, and I must say, it feels amazing! I made logistical changes to my schedule in order to fit in the time I needed. Now, I get to choose how I want to show up everyday. Of course I still have days where I’m not all glammed up. But what’s different is that I am choosing not to go all out that day. Maybe I want a break from makeup and hair, or maybe I’m getting a good walk in later. The important thing is that I get to choose, instead of being at the mercy at finding the time.
My takeaway from all of this, is that I am a priority. My needs are important and it is up to me to meet them.
